It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
