the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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