And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
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Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We left an ass print on the piano.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
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in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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