I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Say something about gay babies.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
