I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i think my cat just said my name.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
