Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
