I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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