People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
