ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
