What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
