now i know why i became what i already was.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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