you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
