my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
