Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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