K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
