what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
