chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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