Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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