i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize