you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
