I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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