Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
