Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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