hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
