Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In other news, I just burned my penis
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
