Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
