I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
