if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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