Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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