what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dick very happy bro
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
