is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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