Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
