At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
