Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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