I am in a vortex of obligation.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
