theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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