Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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