i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
