oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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