So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
