What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
