my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
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That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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