I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
