this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
