There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
