JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
