i barfeds in our rink
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im holly from the hills drunk
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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