I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
