Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
