Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
