Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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