So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
