If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
