I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
