I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
