i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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