Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize