As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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