Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
