He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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