I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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