so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
