Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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