i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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