dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
