I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
