No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
