worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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