your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize