tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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