I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
